Becoming a new mom is an exciting and joyous event, but it can also be completely overwhelming and exhausting. Sleepless nights, body changes, hormone fluctuations, and a whole new identity are just a few of the changes new moms experience right out of the gate. As a friend, you may be wondering how you can best support the new mom in your life to provide her with a little relief. Here are some ideas on how to best support a new mom:
Offer to Help with Household Chores
After giving birth, your friend likely won’t have the time or energy to keep up with typical household chores such as cleaning, laundry, and straightening up. Offering to help with these tasks can be a huge relief for new moms who are stretched thin and stressed out. Doing dishes, folding laundry, vacuuming the floor, or even just providing a gift card to a home cleaning service can be a huge help.
Bring Over a Meal
In the haze of those early newborn days, cooking dinner can be a daunting and dreaded task. There are a few options to choose from to help lift this burden for your friend! Are you a good cook? Perhaps there is a dish you can prepare ahead of time for them and drop off with simple instructions for reheating. Is there a particular restaurant you know your friend loves? Ordering takeout or providing a gift card to that restaurant is another great option. You can even give a gift card to UberEATS or another meal delivery service to give them multiple restaurant options to choose from! Perhaps your friend would enjoy a gifted subscription to a home delivery meal prep service such as Home Chef or Hello Fresh. Finally, you can check with your friend to see if she would appreciate a meal train from multiple friends and family, and if so, you can organize it for her. Any one of these would be a great way to show your support and help alleviate some of the stress of meal planning and preparation.
Watch the Baby
New parents often find it challenging to find time to take care of themselves or run errands while also caring for a newborn. Imagine your sleep-deprived friend laying down for a much-needed nap, only to be woken up within 5 minutes from the baby’s crying. Picture your friend hurrying through the aisles of the grocery store and forgetting half of the items she needed because she felt rushed to get the baby home for a nap. You can help eliminate some of these stresses by offering to watch the baby for fixed periods of time. Offer something specific, such as, “I would love to come over and spend time with the baby while you take an uninterrupted shower,” or “Can I hang out with the baby while you go to the grocery store this week?”
Offer to Run Errands
Perhaps watching the baby is not an option—maybe you are not comfortable with that, or the new mom is not comfortable leaving the baby quite yet. That’s OK! Running errands, such as picking up groceries or dropping off dry cleaning, is another way you can help. Ask your friend for a list of tasks she is able to delegate and let her know which of those tasks you can take care of for her. You can also provide gift cards to services such as Instacart or Shipt as an alternative. Offering to run errands for your friend can be a huge help and allow her to focus on taking care of her baby.
Encourage Self-Care
New parents often prioritize their baby’s needs over their own, but self-care is essential for their wellbeing. Remember that your friend is likely getting very little sleep in the first few months after her baby is born, so perhaps you can encourage self-care by arranging for her to nap while you help with the baby. Exercise is another excellent form of self-care, and something you can offer to do with your friend once she is medically cleared to do so. You can offer to take walks with her and her baby, or stretch in a local park together. Reminding and encouraging your friend to take time for herself can help her feel more balanced and refreshed.
Provide Practical Gifts
When it comes to gifts for new parents, practical items are often the most appreciated. Have you ever been to a baby shower and counted up how many blankets and bibs the mom-to-be is gifted? The answer is usually way more than she will ever need. Size 3T clothes? Very nice, but not useful for another three years. Diapers, wipes, baby clothes and gift cards are all useful gifts that can help new parents save money and time.
Offer to Help with Older Children
If your friend has older children, offering to help with them can provide a lot of relief for your friend. You can offer to take the older children to a movie or to the park for a few hours to give your friend a little one-on-one time with her new baby. Or offer to help with school pick-ups and drop-offs, especially if it interferes with the baby’s nap times.
Be Non-Judgmental
It can be hard to withhold comments, suggestions, and opinions when an experienced parent is helping out a new mom, but it is important to do exactly that—withhold. Every parent has their own parenting style and preferences. Breastfeeding versus bottle-feeding, working versus staying home, sleep schedules versus on-demand are all very personal decisions that are up to the discretion of the parents. If you truly want to help your friend, then do so by being non-judgmental and supportive of your friend’s choices, even if they differ from your own. Only if your friend expressly asks for your advice or opinion should you give it. And please—when she tells you what she decided to name her child, simply smile and say, “I love it!”
Let’s face it—new moms have it rough in the beginning. There are so many changes, such little sleep, and not enough time to manage it all. You can help walk your friend through this new phase of life with support and encouragement. Helping her will allow her a little breathing room to take some time to enjoy those fleeting newborn days, and she will never forget you for that gift.
